I'm commited to working in this blog. In sharing the adventures I have as I venture into art, craft, life and healing from the deep scars of severe depression. I'm happy you're here looking and sharing in what is my small world.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Gettin' in the Philosphical Groove

I'm having a hard time getting back into the "groove" of going to school....I know, you'd think after TEN years since being in a class room last, I'd have no problem, right? This time I'm enrolled in an Online program which is enormously attractive to somebody like me. Somebody who is mildly agoraphobic, who works at home already and who lives 45 minutes away from any sort of civilization with a decent college. (Never mind that that "decent college" is Penn State...prestigous much? EXPENSIVE much?) I followed an ad on Facebook and found an RN to MSN program through the College Network and Regis University. Why a bridge program? I want to be done, FAST. And....I hate to say it...I really don't WANT to obtain my MSN (Masters of Science and Nursing). You see, I still don't believe I want to be a nurse, when I grow up. But that's not a practical line of thought. In reality I need to stick to this path of secure employment, good benefits and solid career growth oppurtunities. But I'm burnt out of it. I ADORE children and being their caregiver, but a huge, huge HUGE part of being a pediatric nurse is dealing with the dark side of life. Severely debilitating and painful childhood illnesses. Neglectful or overwhelmed parents who let things slip and slide. Neglected healthy siblings. Child abuse. Death. Death of small and innocent beings who in reality..never stood a chance based on bad genetics and circumstances. Poverty of our most fragile members of human society. The blind eye of just about everybody to the plight of these kids. I could go on and on, but I won't. Needless to say, I get soul weary of it. But it's the RIGHT thing to do. It means my son will be cared for. It means we'll have insurance. It's the right path to take. But it makes my heartache at times. I wish I could walk away from it all and devote myself fully to the whimsical dreams of my youth. Being a concert trombonist, an artist, a WRITER of things other than meaningless blog posts...

1 comment:

  1. You can be both :) You might need to do the one to do the other. But no one is going to prevent you from making music or art if you want to :)